If I Was an Octapus I'd be a better Nurse...but Maybe Not a Better Person

Today I started my first IV!! Yay me!
Happy dance x3!!

Ok. So really it was a gong show.
I didn't even know I'd hit the vein cuz I forgot to watch for the flashback.
So I didn't even know til my instructor was like "yay you did it!"
And I'm like...umm...ok.
Then of course connecting everything and taping everything down required my 2 hands, my instructors 2 hands and Heather (my nursing buddy)'s two hands as well.

So for my next IV if I grow an extra 4 arms will be a piece of cake!

The more exhausted one becomes (and the lower ones blood sugar) the funnier things that aren't funny become.

Until you're sitting in a post conference laughing so hard that tears are pouring down your face

And you just can't stop.

Með Suð Í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust

I was so sick with unshed tears
that I had to run to my car, race over to the nearest HMV to buy an album I wanted.
Which they didn't have. Well they had one, but it was on hold or something like that.
So I bought a different album by the same band.

This morning I drove back to the city.
It was beautiful. Bright green fields, bright yellow fields, then trees, and then the darkest of rain clouds.
And as I drove I prayed.
I prayed thanking God for the beauty of the day.
Asking for strength for a friend and his family in a tough time, especially today as round 2 begins.
For a friend who's far away from her family (I think maybe still?) and needs protection and revelation in her life.
For Shauna at camp all exhausted, that God would make her a blessing to those around her.
For some sort of dream

And I got no answer that I understand.
All I know is I'm exhausted.
Stressed.

So it is perfectly fitting that I am listening to music that has nothing to do with English.
I don't understand it.
And that's perfectly ok.
Because I don't understand much right now.

Not to Say They Should Drop Dead but...

Cardiac surgery is incredibly cool. I'm going to learn so much, and my instructor is just fabulous!

BUT The majority of patients there are what we call CABG patients (pronounced like cabbage). Which is short of Coronary Artery Bipass Graft (bipass surgery).
That's what my grandpa had. He had that and he was in the hospital and then he was home and recovering and doing so well and then he dropped dead in a parking lot.
Not that I think all the patients I see are going to go home and 6 weeks later be taken off life support but I worry about them a little, and a little selfish evil part of me says that it's not fair that they're going to be ok.

Clearly my grandpa's death is something that I have still not gotten over.

Somehow that moment when I found out that despite all the prayers he still died my whole perspective of God changed. Or maybe it was myself. I was tested by a trial and struggle and disapointment and I failed miserably. My faith in God doing anything was shaken.
oh wow.
I just realized the strangest thing.
The Christmas before my 4th birthday my Aunt Laura died and my parents called me into their room and I remember my dad was crying and I laughed because I thought he was being silly and my mom explained that my Aunt had died. I don't really remember how that went but I do remember that after I went down the stairs and my grandma met me at the bottom of the stairs and wrapped me in a big hug and I cried.
The day my grandpa died was the day that I went with friends to Malmo to see Mr. Chapel. I still went to see Mr. Chapel because I needed the distraction and when we got to the church Kim was there and she asked how my grandpa was and I just started to cry and she gave me a huge hug while I sobbed in the middle of the church.

Maybe I just need to look for God in a different way. It still doesn't change the fact that I had the wrong hopes and expectations but it recognizing that God was actually there.

He gave me a hug.
2 in fact.
I've been blessed.
I've just gotta learnt to see them instead of just the hurt.

When I Told the Truth and What Happened Next

So on Saturday at work I was going to the wheelchair bathroom to dump the icky mop water and put some clean water in, but before I got there a girl came along from the hotel to go to the bathroom, so since the normal bathrooms were locked I let her into the wheelchair bathroom. Before going in she wanted to know why the normal bathrooms were locked. I thought about it for a second and then just told her the truth flat out, "Well, if we don't lock them people from the street come in and shoot up in the bathroom." And she just laughed. My answer was so far from what she was expecting that she just laughed. She went into the bathroom and I could still hear her laughing. She said that my "honesty cracked her up."

One day a telemarketer called and asked me if anyone was around to do her survey "like my mommy" and I said no. Which is technically true since she was technically asking for my mommy and my mom was not there. Nothing really resulted from this.

Then one night I was reading and my phone rang and I answered it and it was some guy who had the wrong number. Then he starts texting me and apologizing and asking about "where my man was at" and I said I was single (because it's the truth) and then he wanted me to call him (because I sounded so "sexy on the phone"...ok if you read the story above you know that a lot of people think I sound like a little kid on the phone) and whatever and I was like "AH! NO!" and I kept saying no and then he called me but I didn't answer and then I told Katie and she told me I had to either tell him I had a boyfriend or say point blank I wasn't interested. So I did the telling the truth one and then he went away.

At church on Sunday we read Psalm 25 which says "No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to thos who try to deceive others."

At work Saturday night I was sweeping outside because the wind kept blowing icky stuff in everytime the door opened and a driver from a Diversified coach (Red Arrow's sister company) came in and he was talking to me and then he reaches out and touches my left ring finger and asks me "How come you're not wearing it?" and I'm like "HUH? Wearing what?" and he's like "Your ring" And I'm like "um, I don't have one" and he's like "Oh good, then I still have a chance" Which is where I kind of laughed, turned red, and started sweeping with a vengeance. Now if only I'd said "It's just getting sized" or something like that then it would have been a little less creepy! But it was creepy. Plus I don't even know his name, and he totally knows mine cuz I have to wear a stupid name tag!

I have to skip a day of clinical to go to Becky's wedding. Getting permission for this is pretty much impossible becaus the Faculty of Nursing seems to believe that when we pay tuition to become their students we also sign over our souls. So I have a choice to make: Do I tell the truth and ask my instructor if it is possible or do I call in sick that day? I'm going to ask her tomorrow. Going bravely forward where few have gone before, and even fewer have gotten favorable answers.

STOP HOLDING YOUR BREATH

You're turning BLUE!!

Ok, so I know you've all been waiting with bated breath for me to update you all on the scarf situation. So I'll tell you.

On the first day with the scarf I wore it as a headband.
Then the second day I just wore it like a scarf around my neck.

That's it.

Hope you had a happy Canada Day by the way.

I went to the parade in my little town, it was cute, and home-town-like. Made me smile.
I'm proud of where I come from.
Proud of the guy in the antique car who was lighting up a cigarrette as he followed the horses from Gymkana.

So some things that I've been praying for, and welcome ya'll to pray for too:

• A friend, his family, and his mom who are going through chemo
• A friend who's crazy busy
• My dad (so much. just so much)
• This lovely weather and this beautiful place I live in
• My commitment to living like I actually want to spend all of eternity with God (which means spending time with Him now)
• Praising Him because another friend got the job he so badly wanted/needed
• And another friend who has a friend who is seeking God's will in a strange situation far from home and is representing God in the most amazing way.