This is my...friend?

Relationships have been on my mind a lot. They are strange things, especially when you are out to try to label them. (This is so not a DTR discussion!)

My brother got married this spring, and I went out and met his family-in-law. Lovely people, who were kind and welcoming and nice to meet. But, they are my brother's in-laws, so, barring any terrible tragedy, I will NEVER see most of them again. What kind of a relationship is that? I suppose it's not one, or does it fall under some category of "casual aquaintances with family connections"? Is there such a category?

As close friends get married I am troubled by their husbands and how they fit into the whole picture. "This is so-and-so, my friend's husband" Are they my friends too? Some of them, yes, I can say that they can fall in the friends category, but, the majority of them? I hope I never have to introduce them to everyone, I'd feel kind of awkward saying "This is my friend..." but, feel kind of rude saying, "This is s0-and-so's husband" because that really and truly is our only connection. Plus, there is the whole aspect where this husband of your friend probably knows a lot more about you and random bits of your life than you would have shared, so they know A LOT more about just how silly you are, than you know about them. Which changes the entire game! They know a lot about you, therefore they should be considered a friend...because I wouldn't want an enemy or a random stranger to know what they know!

I know I'm obsessing, but defining these relationships (see, not defining THE relationship...so still not a DTR talk) helps me know what is socially appropriate. When someone is on the verge of tears and you really just want to give them a hug, and say you're sorry, and offer comfort but you're not entirely sure if the relationship is strictly defined by the role you play in their life or as an actual friendship...then what do you do?

There should be a rule book complete with the appropriate behaviours and things to say/do in various situations with various types of relationships. When is a coworker a friend? How do you act towards the person who is way out of your league, but you like anyway? What about those people on the fringes? The ones who might be friends but you are completely unsure of how they view you? WHAT DO YOU DO????

Perhaps it doesn't matter, this is coming from the girl who tried to be mean to someone, felt guilty because she was being so mean, and then received a thank you note from the target of her meanness. So, it is very possible, that no matter how I act, or treat people, it will be interpreted all wrong, despite my efforts.

Maybe I should just keep acting how I do, and then let everyone else worry about whether or not I am their friend...hmm...this sounds promising.

While I'm Thinking About It...

1. Online dating is not for me. End of story. I can find roommates online but I can't find dates online. It's just weird. And odd. And I give up easily (although 2 weeks seems like long enough to decide that I don't like it...). So, in summary: the internet is for finding roommates. Not dates.

2. With the exception of children, the people who flinch away from you while walking a dog make me a little mad. They act like not only am I going to let my dog jump all over them, but I am actually going to set the dog on them. Newsflash: my dog has way more interest in *that* clump of dirt than she has in you. Yes, I did just compare you to a clump of dirt. Deal with it.

3. Today was a lovely day. I felt so energized. I blasted the country music and danced in the living room. And cleaned my dogs kennel. And wiped down the kitchen with lysol (a habit I picked up at work...although at work we use Kavi wipes). And watched What Not to Wear. And cleaned out my roommates cat litter boxes because the smell was making me gag everytime I went upstairs and I had to keep my door closed....ick. gag. blech. Then I went and swam for an hour. And walked the dog and played soccer with her in the park. And walked around. Now, I'm going to cheat and buy some instant rice to zap in the microwave to make myself a glory bowl to eat for supper and one to bring to work tomorrow.

4. Tomorrow I work an 8 hour day. And then I am off for a wonderful week which will be spent in Alberta. This might be a contributing factor to my energy and happiness. I'm going HOME!

I'd Forgotten What It Looked Like...

I went to my blog today and was shocked! I had completely forgotten what it looked like!

Talk about a waste of cyberspace!

I've heard that if you post something at least twice a week people start to follow your blog. But the question is what to write? After all, there can't be that many people who want to hear that I slept in, watched Glee, made breakfast, walked the dog, took the dog to the off leash park, had a 2 hour nap, made homemade mushroom soup and then watched some tv, and then I blogged about
it.

But the 2 hour nap was awesome. I had leather couch wrinkles on my face. That's how awesome it was.

There are currently job postings in the parts of Alberta that I love. Jasper (but there's nowhere to live in Jasper), and in Lac La Biche (not that there is really anything loveable about Lac La Biche...but the lakes and trees all around it make me feel so energized!). They are casual positions that are open to external applicants. I want to badly to apply, and yet I'm afraid that if I decide to apply I'll either not get the job, or get the job and hate it but be stuck with it because there's not exactly an abundance of other jobs to get. I'm also afraid to leave Winnipeg. I just moved into my new place about a month and a half ago...so it seems kind of hasty to be planning to bail on it already. I can't go casual because I need a guaranteed income to plan my trip to New Zealand. I get to babysit Briony.

I think I'm so full of excuses that I'm just going to have to accept that like it or not (and the answer is "not"), I'm sticking around in Winnipeg for a while longer.

Maybe I'll be able to save enough money to buy a house in Jasper...

Once Upon A Time...

The other day at work, one of the funniest things happened, but I can't really explain it because of confidentiality...and it's just one of those things where you *might* be able to figure out who I was talking about.

I know, lame right?

The reason I bring it up though, is because it reminded me that once upon a time I wanted to a journalist, or a writer of some sort.

I'm not even sure how I became a nurse because I wanted to be a writer so badly!

Do you think it's too late?

Pizza!

I made really good pizza today.

Yum.

Just wanted to put that out there.

Gotta Be a Better Way

For the most part I would say that Christian's (or the majority of them) manage to keep people from staring at us and wondering just what we think we're doing. Ash Wednesday though, is just one of those days where we do things that may make other people give us weird looks. On Ash Wednesday we draw crosses on our foreheads with ashes.

Talk about weird looks. I had one on my head and I STILL had to give the other's weird looks because of theirs! HA ha. I mean, I understand the solemn kind of symbolism behind the whole thing, but I hope I'm still allowed to see the humour in it.

As for the ash crosses...there needs to be a ceremony for removing them. How on earth do you wash off this cross on your forehead that you got in this solemn service?? Can you just wash it off? Or should you leave it til it kind of rubs off on its own? Seriously, this is something that they don't consider before they draw it on your head. Booo!!!

I just wiped mine off with a piece of toilet paper. I hope that's ok.

Well, Lent has started to I guess I had better go and start replacing my bad thoughts with some good ones...

Eureka!

I have figured it all out!!

For Lent 2010 (yeah, that's right...say it like it's Vancouver 2010...be proud!) I will be finding things about me and recognizing how God plays into them, and posting them on this blog. Once a day for all of Lent (so, 40 days when you don't count Sunday) I shall try to be posting some sort of thing about myself that is positive and is overcoming my obsession with my flaws which is getting in the way of the whole "growing" thing.

It's breaking 2 window's with 1 stone! (sorry...I don't kill birds!) I'll focus on positives AND connect the dots between me and God.

I'm brilliant! (Sweet! It looks like I've found at least one thing to talk about!)

In The Way

The last time I made it to church (at all or even just in time to hear a whole sermon) we were asked to reflect on our lives and see just what was standing between us and growing in our faith. This was a terrible question to ask, because the #1 thing in my life that I focus on way more than God is kind of embarassing. Yet, I know it consumes me, and maybe, just maybe, admitting it is gonna help me redo my priorities.

The thing that consumes me and distracts me from not only growing in faith, but in even enjoying life as I know I should, is my constant NEVER CEASING obsession with how much I need to lose weight, and my constant NEVER CEASING self loathing at continually allowing myself to fail.

What ridiculous and shallow things to let get in the way of life. Yet all I can do is think about the things I should do to lose weight.

As Lent is approaching I wonder what my offering should be. I feel like I should somehow give up this obsession, I just don't know what that would look like. I don't know how! Yet, there has to be a way to be healthy without obsessing about, cuz there are healthy people out there, and I don't *think* that they obsess about it. Not like I do anyways. Perhaps I should start looking at the positives. It's a step right?