The last time I made it to church (at all or even just in time to hear a whole sermon) we were asked to reflect on our lives and see just what was standing between us and growing in our faith. This was a terrible question to ask, because the #1 thing in my life that I focus on way more than God is kind of embarassing. Yet, I know it consumes me, and maybe, just maybe, admitting it is gonna help me redo my priorities.
The thing that consumes me and distracts me from not only growing in faith, but in even enjoying life as I know I should, is my constant NEVER CEASING obsession with how much I need to lose weight, and my constant NEVER CEASING self loathing at continually allowing myself to fail.
What ridiculous and shallow things to let get in the way of life. Yet all I can do is think about the things I should do to lose weight.
As Lent is approaching I wonder what my offering should be. I feel like I should somehow give up this obsession, I just don't know what that would look like. I don't know how! Yet, there has to be a way to be healthy without obsessing about, cuz there are healthy people out there, and I don't *think* that they obsess about it. Not like I do anyways. Perhaps I should start looking at the positives. It's a step right?
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