Getting It Together

Today I realized that in 1 week and 2 months I will have been finished school for an entire year, and like all the other mile markers in my life, it is nothing like I expected it to be.

In elementary school, you look at the high school kids, and they have it all together.
In high school, you look at the college kids, and they have it all together.
In college, well, clearly, the graduates, out there working and living the dream, they have it all together.
Well, here I am. Working hard, and "living the dream" and I don' t have it all together.

An entire year of nursing will soon be over. I'm not as smart as I hoped to be, but neither am I as stupid as I was afraid I could be. How does an entire year go by...how did I become "senior staff"?? How is it that I teach student nurses? And sort of live by myself? How come I'm in Winnipeg, even though I don't know where else to be?

Perhaps, this seeking to "have it all together" is the wrong thing to strive for.

On a completely other note, now that I have had a really good day at work, and have Sunday off, and then have something to do written on every single day of my calendar for the next week, and now that it's only 1 week left of a crazy last 2.5 weeks of the month I think I can make it to the end of next week. November will be a new month, and the first time in what feels like several weeks (but hasn't really been that long) that I will have more than 1 day off at a time. HUGE sigh of relief.

I think I need to sleep now. And see if i have sweet dreams.

Why Sleep Deprivation is Not Really Good for a Person

Was working lots and lots with only single days off at a time, then packing, and moving, and not actually moving my stuff, and 3 night shifts later I don't know how I made it through. I know I really really drew on a couple of people, borrowing their energy and perspective to help me survive. Thank you. I doubt that many of them read this, but its a thank you that shall float out into the world, find them, and just bring them a random thought that will make them smile.

I have a new (and super fantastic) job. I shall be hanging out with a super sweet little girl named Briony once a week. She's 10 months old, and loves to dance and giggle. I am so excited that I get to hang out and be a little part of her life!

Today I picked up a book that I ordered. The Cat's Pajama's by Ray Bradbury. I decided to read some of his stories, but not 100...because I don't want to read that much of his writing. I enjoyed the first story I read. "Chrysalis" (Not the famous one, a different one). It was thought provoking. I shall have to think about it some more.

Anway, I'm seriously difting. My mind is wandering and is kind of broken. I have been told that public forums are not appropriate places to vent, and I think this is public...although, I don't know who actually read this...but I'm going to find a happy distraction. Perhaps some Firefly. Or, it sounds like someone else (other than the engaged couple cuddled on the couch) is home. Or, Dre said she might think of something for us to do (we're neighbors now...temporarily anyway).

Oh. I know! I'm supposed to call my Aunt and Uncle. Perhaps that is what I shall do. :)
Goodnight!